Research in neuroscience tells us that if you want to make changes in your life, your brain will not necessarily be on your side. It might actually stand in the way of what you are trying to achieve. You’re probably wondering why it would do that. So, let’s explore this further.
Don’t take it personally
Even when people’s lives are threatened through smoking, excessive drinking, poor lifestyle choices etc., many people are unable to change their patterns of behaviour and destructive habits.
Have you ever wondered why it is so difficult to make positive changes? Just think about why so few weight loss programs work. Here is the answer. It all has to do with ingrained habits and conditioning.
Neuroscience has found that the part of the brain that deals with habits requires little energy. When something is a habit or routine it doesn’t require much attention because it is familiar. You know what to do and it happens automatically; you don’t have to contemplate, consider or reflect on it. Contemplation, consideration and reflection take more brainpower, effort and energy.
No matter how much damage it is doing, your habits are so familiar, and you often don’t even think about them; it feels natural, normal and therefore ‘comfortable’.
This automatic response frees up the conscious or thinking part of the brain to deal with more complex tasks, such as processing new or other information. This part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex or the executive part of the brain, is not as energy efficient and requires more fuel.
If I asked you to write your name on a piece of paper, you would not have to consciously think about it, it would be automatic. What if you were to write your name with your other hand? Would your writing be less automatic? Unless you are ambidextrous, the answer is probably yes. You would have to consciously think about how to do it. That is until you get used to it and it becomes a habit. But before this happens, it feels strange, uncomfortable and somehow wrong. It’s not what you are used to, and therefore it requires more focus, effort and brain fuel. This is also why people feel tired when they are developing new skills or doing something they haven’t really done before.
It takes the brain time to get used to a new situation, skill or behaviour. But most people revert back to what is comfortable and familiar long before this occurs.
Something else happens and it’s essential to know this if you want to make important and lasting changes in your life.
The brain resists change
Not only is making changes hard work for the brain, but it actually resists change. And it does this for a very good reason – and it’s not because it is trying to make things hard for you! Your brain’s primary and basic function is to keep you safe. In order to do this, your brain is designed to be on the lookout and detect when things are different, unusual or unfamiliar. Why? Because this could mean there is danger or a potential threat to your wellbeing.
Your brain has a very extensive reference library. It is filled with information that you have accumulated over your lifetime. Any incoming information will instantly be referenced and compared to what you already know. It will determine if what is happening is different from your experience, expectations and assumptions. This mostly happens at a subconscious level.
When it detects a ‘mismatch’ and depending on the severity of the mismatch, it will activate a warning, an alarm in the brain that is just like an error code. Your brain will send a powerful and urgent message that there is something amiss. When the alarm is sounded the fear circuitry, the primitive or reptilian part of your brain, gets triggered and you become unsettled or worse, you become stressed and anxious. This is what is supposed to happen in your brain as without this you would not survive.
When an error message shows up in the reptilian part of your brain, the ‘animal’ instinct takes over and is ready to fight or run away. When this part of the brain, the amygdale, gets activated you tend to act based on impulse and it’s difficult to think logically. Your capacity for higher thought, such as contemplation, reflection and deliberation immediately decreases.
Are you getting the picture? Change leads to an ‘error message’ in your brain and you will feel alarmed. You feel unsafe and you want to retreat back to the safety of what is familiar, which is…you guessed it, whatever you are used to doing. In other words what you are ‘addicted to’ whether it is food, cigarettes, alcohol or any other habit or addiction you may have. So, comparing information and alerting us to a mismatch is great for survival, but not so good when you want to make positive and lasting changes in your life.
Your brain tends to focus on the loss, not the gain
Another reason why change is difficult is because of the way we tend to direct our thoughts. In other words what we focus on. While there are many exceptions, generally, your brain’s natural tendency is to be more concerned with the loss, rather than the gain. Most people follow this natural tendency. They focus on what they are giving up, rather than on what they are gaining. This makes it very hard to resist an impulse or an urge.
For example, people who are giving up smoking may look longingly at that cigarette. When the brain perceives a loss, it interprets this as giving up part of its security. You want to give up something that is familiar? Not if I have my way! I am here to protect you. You want to give up the familiar neural pathway and create a different one? No thanks, I’d rather we stick to well-trodden and familiar ones, says the brain.
Rather than being able to focus on the long-term gain, you then satisfy or avoid the short-term discomfort (pain) and you give in to instant gratification. This is why so many people fail to make changes in their life; to reach their goals and to achieve what they are truly capable of.
When you focus on the loss rather than the gain, it is hard for the brain to get excited and support you. Your brain needs a better reason to start making changes; by thinking it’s giving up something that is trusted and familiar, is not one of them!
So many people want to make positive changes so they can live a full and happy life…but, because they don’t know how to deal with change or how to get their brain to support them, they can’t possibly achieve what they set out to.
Don’t let change be the thing that stands between you and where you want to be. To help you deal with change, here are a few practical tips and techniques that you can start applying now:
- Make sure that what you are moving towards (what you want) aligns to what you really value; in other words, what is most important to you. This is what will motivate you the most.
- If your brain’s ‘error code’ or alarm system gets activated, it does not mean that the change is wrong or that you are in danger. You can override the alarm system with reason and logic.
- It takes the brain time to get used to a new situation. The error message will keep popping up until a new neural pathway is established.
- It usually takes between 30 – 60 days for a new habit or behaviour to become engrained and automatic, so be patient!
- When in times of stress you need to be extra vigilant, so you don’t regress to old behaviours and habits. For example, people will often revert back to smoking, drinking or overeating during times of stress, hence the saying; during stress we regress.
- The unconscious part of the brain does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined. Studies have found that your brain will already start to create new neural pathways just by visualising and feeling excited about what you want.
- Mind your mind. In other words, be aware of what you think about. Don’t pollute your brain with rubbish and junk thoughts. Just like caring for a garden, you wouldn’t keep fertilising and watering the weeds would you – you’d pull them out! Water, fertilise and look after those plants and flowers that you want to grow. While this might sound obvious in relation to a garden, when it comes to our mind most people do exactly the opposite, they keep feeding the weeds.
- Tell your brain what you want rather than what you don’t want and use positive language in the present tense. I am successful, rather than I am not going to fail or I am going to be successful. I am wealthy, rather than I am going to be wealthy or I am no longer in debt. I am a non-smoker rather than I am giving up smoking. Know that your brain can’t reverse. Try not to think of a pink elephant. See!!
- Remember that you’re not perfect (nobody is or should be). Learn to accept your humanness and don’t beat yourself up, it’s bad for your brain!
- Remain focused and committed. It is easy to give up and most people do because that’s easy. Step up and out of that crowd.
