Have you ever noticed how hard it can be to change something in your life – even when you want the change? You set out with good intentions: new routines, fresh habits, or a different way of showing up. And then… you slip back into what’s familiar.
It’s not because you’re weak, lazy, or lacking willpower. Neuroscience tells us your brain is simply doing what it’s designed to do: keep you safe. And “safe” to your brain often means “the same.”
Why familiar feels comfortable (even when it’s not)
Your brain loves habits. They run on autopilot, requiring very little energy. Think about how easy it is to sign your name with your dominant hand. Now imagine using the other hand – suddenly it feels strange, awkward, and takes much more effort.
That’s what new habits feel like for your brain. Until the neural pathways are well established, change feels uncomfortable and unfamiliar. And when life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to slip back into what’s easy and automatic – even if it no longer serves you.
The brain’s “error code”
Here’s the kicker: your brain doesn’t just find change hard, it actually resists it. Whenever something feels different, your internal alarm system lights up. This ancient part of your brain is wired to spot potential threats, and anything new can be flagged as unsafe.
So when you step outside your comfort zone, your brain often sends an “error message” – that unsettled feeling, the self-doubt, the urge to retreat. It’s not a sign you’re on the wrong path. It’s just your brain trying to protect you.
Why we focus on loss, not gain
Another reason change feels tough is because our brains naturally pay more attention to what we’re losing than what we’re gaining. Trying to give up an old routine? Your brain might fixate on the loss of comfort, rather than the long-term freedom and fulfilment you’re creating.
That’s why it’s so easy to choose instant relief over lasting transformation. But awareness of this pattern is the first step to shifting it.
Practical ways to work with your brain
The good news? Change is possible – and your brain is capable of incredible rewiring. Here are a few gentle practices to help you move forward:
- Anchor change to what matters most: If your goals align with your values, your motivation will run deeper than willpower alone.
- Reframe the alarm: When fear or resistance shows up, remind yourself it doesn’t mean the change is wrong – it’s just your brain adjusting.
- Give it time: It usually takes 30–60 days for a new habit to feel natural. Patience and consistency are key.
- Expect stress triggers: Old habits often resurface when life feels hard. Noticing this makes it easier to stay the course.
- Visualise the future: Your brain responds to what you imagine as though it’s real. Picture yourself thriving in your new habit or chapter – and let yourself feel excited by it.
- Feed the right thoughts: Like a garden, your mind grows what you nurture. Instead of watering weeds (self-doubt, negativity), choose to grow what supports you.
A final reminder
You don’t need to change everything overnight. Small, consistent steps are what reshape your brain and your life.
So if you’re standing in a season of transition – maybe the kids don’t need you as much, your work feels stale, or you’re simply craving something more – remember: resistance is normal. It’s not a stop sign.
With awareness, patience, and a little self-compassion, you can move past the alarm bells of your brain and into a life that feels more aligned, more alive, and more you.
✨ It starts with you
The Soul Setting pathways are here to meet you right where you are. Change isn’t just about new habits – it’s about self-discovery and personal transformation. Each pathway is designed to support you in this season of life, helping you gently uncover what’s next.
- Soul Shift – when you’re navigating major life transitions and searching for clarity.
- Soul Leader – when you want to lead with confidence, authenticity, and soul.
- Soul Spark – when you feel flat or disconnected and want to reignite your energy and purpose.
